im holly from the hills drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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