This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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