Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
