birth control should be required to get into college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have already put on my inside pants.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize