If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
