just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
