Just cropdusted the office
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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