Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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