Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
