god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
