My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
