Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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