you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
