i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
