Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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