No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
