It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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