Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
