So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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