I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
