I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
