i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
