i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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