addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
