I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
