I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
