margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
this is an emotional support booty call
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
