i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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