I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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