someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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