tonight lets celebrate not being married
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
