I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
