i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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