normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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