why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you still have your period?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
