I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
