Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have aggressive nipples.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize