So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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