STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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