She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
