my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
