Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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