alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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