I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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