Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
