i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
