Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize