His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
