She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
