ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
