we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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