dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Nicole vs. Life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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