3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
