that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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