The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
