I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and she was petting her beer can
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize