Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
